


She Don't Wanna Marry Me

by truecaptainswanlove



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 14:41:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13343367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truecaptainswanlove/pseuds/truecaptainswanlove
Summary: Killian Jones knows you're supposed to be happy for your best friend on their wedding day. But when you've been in love with said best friend for as long as you can remember and they're not marrying you, it's hard to be happy for them when you're own heart was breaking.





	She Don't Wanna Marry Me

**Author's Note:**

> Title and fic inspired by the song "Marry Me" by Thomas Rhett

Killian Jones knew you were supposed to be happy for your best friend on their wedding day. But when you’ve been in love with said best friend for as long as you can remember and they weren’t marrying you, it was hard to be happy for them when your heart was breaking. Which was why on a cool day in October, when his best friend Emma Swan was getting set to marry her fiancé Walsh, Killian found himself on his couch, blinds pulled, shrouding the room in darkness as he contemplated breaking out the rum before lunch time.

Killian had moved to the small Maine town of Storybrooke at the age of 13 with his older brother Liam and their father Brennan, leaving their home and bad memories of England behind. He’d been attending the local school for a couple weeks, his accent and combination of startling blue eyes and dark, roguish hair making him conspicuous among his peers who had known each other basically since birth. There had been those who tried to befriend him those first few days, as he was something new and different, but Killian had been too shy and reserved, sticking close to his brother. Liam, of course, had had no problem fitting in, making new friends easily, always with a crowd when Killian found him at lunch. Liam had encouraged Killian to try and meet some new people but Killian didn’t find it as easy as his brother.

Then, a few weeks after Killian had started school, another new student had arrived in their grade. She was a foster kid, he heard other people in the hall say, the Nolan family taking her in. On her first day, Killian saw her as she entered his homeroom, clutching her books tight to her chest, holding herself close together as she looked around with a lost look on her face. Killian felt himself drawn to her right away. He couldn’t really explain it; maybe it had something to do with the fact that they were both new. But there was something in her eyes that Killian recognized in his own; a lost, haunted look that you got when you’ve been left alone, when you felt like you didn’t belong. Killian was compelled by her and wanted to get to know her. As luck would have it, their teacher introduced her to the class as Emma Swan and instructed her to sit beside Killian. He’d given her a smile and held out his hand as he introduced himself, asking what her schedule was like. She’d eyed him somewhat suspiciously but had handed him a piece of paper. He’d been delighted to see that they had all the same classes and offered to show her around. Emma had hesitated but nodded her head in agreement. Throughout the morning, as Killian had walked around with her, he found himself opening up more to her than he had to anyone else so far in town. Emma had opened up to him in turn and at lunch time Killian walked right by his brother’s table as he and Emma had found a spot together, laughing like old friends.

The two had been thick as thieves ever since. Killian held her close as she cried tears of joys when the Nolan’s adopted her and even closer when Neal broke her heart. In turn, Emma had been his rock when his father left, leaving Liam in charge. They were best friends but getting to the end of high school, Killian had started noticing things he never had before: how Emma’s eyes sparkled when she was amused and flashed with rage when she was angry; how her hair almost looked like sunlight; how her body had changed and gained more curves; how every laugh and smile was never faked but earned; how she tried to put on a tough exterior at times but she had the softest heart of anyone he had ever met. By the time graduation rolled around, Killian realized he was in love with his best friend but he couldn’t tell her. She’d just had her heart broken by Neal and it had made her wary of love and relationships. Killian wasn’t willing to risk their friendship, so he’d said nothing. There had been times when he’d thought she might feel the same way; the way she sometimes looked at him or when she looked like she wanted to say something but then shook her head, smiling at him and changing the subject. So for years, Killian kept quiet, secretly pining for his best friend as they moved through life's trials together.

For awhile, Killian had thought he might be able to handle just being friends with Emma. She never had any serious relationships throughout their college and adult years. Sure, she’d gone on dates and had a few relationships that lasted a couple months but when things started to get too serious, Emma ended things. Ever since the Neal debacle, Emma wasn’t big on commitment, not willing to have her heart broken again. So, all in all, Killian thought he’d be okay.

Then Walsh had arrived. Emma had met him after she moved into a new apartment, needing to find one after Mary Margaret and David had gotten married and bought their own house. Killian remembered how proud she was of having a place that was all hers and she seemed determined to fill it with as much stuff as possible. She’d checked out a furniture store called  _ The Wizard of Oak _ , that just happened to be owned by Walsh. After ordering a piece, she’d been surprised when he’d called barely two weeks later to say her side table was finished. When he’d delivered it, he’d asked Emma out and she’d agreed. Eight months later, Walsh had proposed and to everyone’s shock, Emma had said yes. Now here they were, six months later and Killian Jones found himself on his couch as his best friend prepared to get married.

Deciding that yes, he definitely needed rum, Killian rose just as a knock sounded at his door. Groaning, because he had an idea of who it was, Killian tried to decide if he could hide out long enough for the person to leave.

“Killian, you git, open the door,” Liam shouted through the door. Sighing in defeat, Killian walked over and did as he was asked, opening the door to find Liam on the other side in a suit and tie, clearly on his way to the wedding.

“What do you want Liam?” Killian grumbled as his brother made his way into the apartment.

“Why aren’t you dressed little brother? We need to get going.”

“ _ Younger _ brother,” Killian automatically corrected, “and I’m not going.”

“What do you mean you’re not going?” Liam said incredulously. “You have to go, Emma’s your best friend!”

Killian shrugged in response.

Sighing, Liam said gently, “Look, Killian, I know this is difficult for you. But Emma’s going to be upset if you’re not there. You know how much she cares about you.”

“I don’t know if I can go through with it, Liam,” Killian whispered. Liam knew how Killian felt about Emma, after Killian had revealed it one night at the pub years ago. He’d been encouraging Killian to tell her the truth but Killian hadn’t listened. And he’d never regretted it more than he did right now.

Liam stepped forward and placed his hands on Killian’s shoulders. “Look brother, you know how I feel. Why don’t you just tell Emma-”

“I can’t do that on her wedding day!” Killian burst out in frustration. “She’s happy Liam! I’m not selfish enough to ruin this for her if it’s what she wants! I care too much to do that to her.”

“Well then,” Liam said, “the only thing you can do then is attend the wedding. Emma will be suspicious if you’re not there and start asking questions and you know you won’t be able to lie to her. So go put your black suit on and let’s go.”

Sighing in defeat, knowing Liam was right, Killian nodded his head. “All right, give me a few minutes.” He walked to his room, dreading what was about to come.

*****

Killian sat in a chair, hiding out in the back. Liam had tried to convince him to sit closer to the front but Killian had stubbornly refused. It was going to be bad enough without having a front row view of the ordeal. Because of Killian’s reluctance to be here, he and Liam had barely made it in time. Killian had just gotten situated when the music started and Emma’s bridesmaids started down the aisle. She had chosen to have a small bridal party, Ruby and Elsa two of her bridesmaids while her sister-in-law Mary Margaret was her maid of honour. Ruby gave him a wink as she passed, while Elsa, Liam’s girlfriend, gave him a sympathetic smile- she had always been intuitive and had known about his feelings before Liam had. Then Emma came into view and Killian felt his breath taken away.

She was a beautiful bride. She wore her golden hair in loose waves flowing over her shoulders, a crown of flowers atop her head. The gown she wore was simple yet elegant- intricate lace patterns on the bodice and skirt, flowing down the dramatic sleeves that bellowed out, the skirt having a slight flare to it. As she walked by, Killian saw the corset back that showed off Emma’s petite frame. She looked like she had walked right out of a fairy tale.

Killian felt the tears in his eyes, so he hastily blinked them away. This was Emma’s special day and he was determined to not ruin it. She deserved the world after everything she had been through in life.

Emma reached the front of the aisle, smiling at Walsh as she stood in front of him. Killian was so focused on her, he didn’t take in anything that the minister said until he reached the part asking for objections. Killian bit his tongue, balling his hands into fists to stop himself from doing something stupid. When no one said anything, the minister continued, asking Walsh if he would take this woman as she was, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse.

“I do,” Walsh said, sending a stab of pain through Killian.

“And do you, Emma, take this man to be your husband-”

The minister continued speaking as Emma turned her head, her eyes finding Killian’s. She smiled when she saw him, the smile lighting up her whole face. Killian forced a smile in return.

“Emma,” the minister prodded.

“Oh, sorry,” Emma said with a blush. She turned back to Walsh but she hesitated, looking back at Killian. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.

“Emma,” Walsh said nervously, as the guests started muttering amongst themselves, “this is the part where you say ‘I do’.”

Tears welled up in Emma’s eyes as she started shaking her head. “I’m sorry Walsh,” she whispered, “but I can’t.”

The audience gasped as Emma picked up her skirts and rushed back down the aisle, leaving Walsh standing up there with a flabbergasted look on his face. Ruby and Elsa started whispering to each other as Mary Margaret ran after Emma, her husband and Emma’s adoptive brother David hot on her heels. As Killian watched them follow the runaway bride down the aisle, he felt Liam nudge him in the side.

“Go after her,” Liam urged. “This is your chance to tell her how you feel.”

“I hardly think this is the right time Liam,” Killian said.

“At the very least, go talk to her,” Liam insisted. “You know she’s more likely to talk to you about what’s going on with her.”

Sighing, knowing his brother was right, Killian rose and followed the path David and Mary Margaret had taken. He found them only a few minutes later, standing outside a closed door.

“Emma, please let us in,” Mary Margaret pleaded. “Talk to us.”

David turned as he saw Killian out of the corner of his eye. “Killian,” he said in relief. “Will you try talking to her? She’s refusing to let us in.”

“Aye, I’ll try,” Killian agreed.

David took Mary Margaret’s elbow and said gently, “Come on, let’s give them some privacy.”

Mary Margaret let David lead her back to where the wedding guests were, albeit reluctantly.

Killian took a deep breath as he knocked on the door. “Swan, it’s me. Can I come in?”

There was a pause before the door opened, Emma standing on the other side with a watery smile. “Should have known you’d follow me,” Emma said wryly.

Even though he’d just seen her moments ago, Killian was once again taken aback by her beauty. “Swan, you look…”

“I know,” she smirked. But it didn’t last long, the smirk slipping off her face as her expression crumbled and tears welled up in her eyes. Killian didn’t hesitate, stepping forward and wrapping Emma in his arms, soothing her as she cried on his shoulder.

After a few moments, Emma pulled away but Killian took hold of her hand, leading her to the couch that was against the wall. Judging by the clothing scattered around the room, and the makeup and hair accessories littering every available surface, this was where Emma and her bridesmaids had gotten ready. “Now Swan,” he said as they took a seat, keeping her hand in his, “what’s going on inside that pretty head of yours?”

Emma shook her head. “I don’t really know,” she confessed. “When it came time to say ‘I do’, I panicked.”

“There must be a reason for it,” Killian prompted. As Emma remained silent, Killian decided to try a different approach. “All right, how about this. Why did you agree to marry Walsh in the first place?”

Emma looked down at her lap, fiddling with the lace of her dress. “Promise not to judge me?” she asked, still not looking at him.

“Swan,” Killian admonished, “you know I could never think any less of you.”

She finally met his gaze, a tender look on her face at his words. Taking a deep breath, steeling herself, she said, “When I met Walsh, it was right after David and Mary Margaret got married.”

“Aye, I remember.”

“Well,” Emma said, “I guess when he asked me out, I was flattered. He seemed like a decent enough guy, so I figured why not? And being with Walsh was safe and reliable. It wasn’t the most passionate relationship I’d ever had but it was easy to be with him.”

“Why was it easy?” Killian questioned.

“Because, I knew I could survive it if things didn’t work out,” Emma admitted. “If we’d broken up, I could have handled it.”

“Oh, Emma,” Killian said, his heart breaking for her. Self-defense was one of her strongest traits, always trying to protect her heart.

“When he asked me to marry him, I was surprised,” Emma confessed. “We’d only been together 8 months and to be honest my first instinct was to run. But then I thought, what if this was it? It seemed like everyone was pairing off and getting married and I was afraid of being alone, so I said yes.”

“Emma, you’ll never be alone,” Killian said. “You have David and Mary Margaret, Elsa, Ruby-”

“You,” she interrupted, looking at him from under her lashes.

“Aye, me,” he agreed with a smile. “What I’m trying to say, love, is you have a lot of people who care about you and would still want to spend time with you, even if you chose to remain single.”

“Guess we’ll find out soon enough,” Emma muttered.

“What changed your mind?”

Emma hesitated before saying, “When I looked at Walsh up there by the altar, I felt disappointed and I realized he wasn’t the one I wanted up there with me.”

“Well, I’m glad you did Swan, because you deserve so much more than settling,” Killian said passionately. “You deserve someone who will cherish you, who will always put you first and fight for you. You, Swan, deserve everything.”

Emma stared at him, blinking quickly to keep the tears at bay. “You really believe that?” she asked, emotion making her voice choke up.

“Of course Swan,” he said, reaching up to swipe away a tear that had escaped with his thumb before stroking her cheekbone as she leaned into his touch.

“I have another confession,” Emma whispered.

Killian went still at her words. “What is it Swan?”

Emma took a deep breath before she leaned forward, kissing him. Killian froze for a split second before responding, moving his lips against hers, tangling his fingers in the soft strands of her hair.

The kiss didn’t last near long enough for Killian as Emma pulled away. “Sorry,” she said shyly, “but I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile.”

Killian chuckled before saying, “You never have to apologize for kissing me love. Trust me, I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile too.”

“Yeah?” Emma asked, sounding surprised.

“Since high school, at least,” he admitted. “I’ve been in love with you for years now. But I was afraid of scaring you away, so I never said anything.”

She smiled at him before speaking again. “I think I’ve been in love for you too, I was just too scared of messing things up and losing you. But when I was standing up there with Walsh, I realized I wanted it to be you up there with me.”

Killian barely waited for her to stop talking before leaning forward and kissing her again. Emma laughed against his lips before pulling away, sobering up. “I should probably tell everyone the wedding isn’t going to happen.”

“Probably,” Killian agreed. “But Swan, just so you know, we don’t have to rush into anything right away. We can wait a bit if you’d like. Besides, I want to do this properly.”

“We should probably wait,” Emma agreed. “People will talk if we get together right after I break up my engagement.”

“How about we wait a month, and then give dating a try?” Killian suggested.

“One month,” Emma agreed, reaching out and shaking his hand, sealing the deal.

(They lasted two weeks before they gave in, making out during one of their routine Netflix sessions. Elsa and David won the bets with their respective partners about how long they’d last before giving up.

Two years later, it was Killian standing at the altar as Emma approached him. He still thought she was the most beautiful bride he’d ever seen.

Emma found it was much easier to say ‘I do’ when it was your best friend and soulmate waiting for you.

They lived happily ever after).


End file.
